Sumae

Sumae has survived ages of warfare, but they cannot win a fight against their own headset. The locals in The Heart of the Forest will tell you, usually between bites of honey-cake, that the fearsome undead warrior is less haunted by past ghosts and more by bad reception. They once burst into a village feast, convinced they’d intercepted a coded message about an ambush. It was just the sound of someone chewing berries too close to their transmitter. Another time, they spent hours trying to triangulate a distress signal that turned out to be a squeaky cart wheel two clearings over. They still provide the best intel around, but everyone knows to discount anything that sounds vaguely like a hiccup.